The Sexuality Snare, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Head

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and males utilize love to obtain sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs interpret good sex as love. However those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther because for these singles, having sex carries enormous significance and consequences.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will be great as well).

B.more frequently, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with truth when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), that makes the chance to have sex with somebody we are brought in to very hard to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce feelings), that makes see this us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , resulting in powerful feelings of tourist attraction, excitement, love, well-being, and closeness .

When issues emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is fantastic!" They more than likely wouldn't confess, however they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main searching tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay males, says that find here numerous of his clients have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males specifically in city locations, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical appearance, motivates sexual activity. Numerous gay males want to learn from the starting if a potential partner is going to be sexually compatible. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to ready?".

North adds, "I believe this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is very important. Chemistry is a go to these guys given that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though in some cases it can grow with time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication subsides and reality hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies integrating chemistry with common sense. While excellent sex is crucial for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying full attention to your vision, values, goals, and requirements -- while feeling all those exciting stimulates!

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