The Sex Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormones and the Head

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and men use love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles analyze excellent sex as love. But those who fall under the Sex Trap go even farther because for these songs, having sex carries tremendous significance and repercussions.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they believe sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will ready also).

B.more commonly, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with truth when all those hormones are running wild. Our body responds to someone we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), makings the chance to make love with somebody we are brought in to extremely hard to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with official source our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , resulting in effective sensations of destination, enjoyment, wellness, love, and nearness .

When problems arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap often rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is fantastic!" They more than likely wouldn't confess, however they focus on physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their primary hunting tools are sexual destination and physical read the full info here compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay guys, states that numerous of his clients have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys specifically in cities, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical look, motivates sexual activity. If a prospective partner is going to be sexually suitable, numerous gay guys desire to find out from the starting. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to ready?".

However, North includes, "I presume this is a ' man' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to point out that chemistry is very important. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry take place, though often it can grow over time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests combining chemistry with common sense. While excellent sex is crucial for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying complete focus on your vision, worths, goals, and requirements -- while feeling all those exciting triggers!

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