The Sensuality Lure, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Cranium

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and guys utilize love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles translate good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther because for these singles, having sex carries enormous significance and repercussions.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready too).

B.more typically, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with truth when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body responds to someone we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), makings the chance to have sex with someone we are attracted to exceptionally tough to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , causing powerful sensations of attraction, enjoyment, wellness, love, and closeness .

But when issues develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is terrific!" They probably would not confess it, however they prioritize physical intimacy and concern continue reading this the rest as optional. Their main searching tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay males, says that much of his clients have actually fallen into check my blog the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys specifically in urban areas, sex is readily offered, which in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical look, motivates sexual activity. Many gay males wish to discover from the starting if this link a potential partner is going to be sexually compatible. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to ready?".

North adds, "I think this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to mention that chemistry is necessary. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow in time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with sound judgment. While great sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner options by paying complete attention to your vision, requirements, objectives, and values -- while feeling all those exciting triggers!

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